I need to wear make up Mummy!

22 Nov

My daughter is four.

She is witty and clever and sweet and oh so very young!

She has been invited to a party tomorrow and she has been excited.

Until she got into the car after school today. She announced that she needed to wear makeup to the party. I told her absolutely not and so she told me she needed to wear nail varnish (I do not even own any).  She explained that she needed to have really nice hair and that she needed to look really, really, really, really, really pretty. And then she burst in to floods of tears.

It is not an understatement when I say I felt sick with horror and anxiety.

The pressure for her to conform is already strong enough for her to worry about how she should look for a party…. At four years old!

I didn’t think we would have these conversations for a long time to come.

How do I make her understand that how she looks is not the only currency that she has?

How do I,  as a parent give her confidence?

How do we make our girls comfortable in their own skin?

This conversation will probably be forgotten by her until the next time. But for me it will be forever imprinted on my brain.

I feel as though that beautiful, childish innocence is already being eroded and I feel utterly helpless in the face of it.


4 Responses to “I need to wear make up Mummy!”

  1. MsNoir November 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm #


    My 8 year old niece told me she wasn’t cute a few months ago. Where would she even get such language? Why would she even entertain the idea of herself being cute or not cute? She just is. I mean she is cute but that’s by the by! My 14 year old niece thinks she too skinny. She’s so self-conscious it’s giving her social anxiety.

    Can you just take Liv out to school and just keep her indoors forever? I think this is the most healthy way forward. A girl only needs her mother. x

    • hannahblythin November 22, 2013 at 10:54 pm #

      A girl needs to not have to worry about this stuff.

      It makes me sad and angry. 😦

  2. MsNoir November 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm #

    *out of school

  3. vintagefrills November 23, 2013 at 3:10 pm #

    Raising girls is so hard! I have a seven year old and a two year old and I make a massive point of telling them how beautiful they are every day. It’s really important to me that they are confident enough to not listen to other girls if they are nasty. Easier said than done though.
    When it comes to make up I make a point of telling them they are lucky because they are so pretty they will never need to wear it.
    I make sure it’s not a taboo though by occasionally dusting a little powder on their cheeks and putting lip balm on, then laughing and reminding them they look nice, but even nicer without.
    There’s no right or wrong way to deal with it, but you have to stick to what you believe, and that’s that make up on little children is not appropriate.
    I’m sure the other girls parents feel exactly the same way as you do and I’m sure your little one will feel fine once she goes to the party and sees all the other little girls looking completely normal.
    I hope that helps. Xxx

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